After my disastrous encounter/one night stand minus 23 hours and 59 minutes with the preying mantis the other day, my macho status was completely up in the air, strangely just like the 143 moths that seem to be circling our cabin in the air at all times. I know you are probably going to think I freaked out again, which is a pretty damn good guess, but that’s in your face because I bought my self this double headed Mayan serpent carved in slate (not to be confused with my friend Slade – who has successfully made the switch from country music performer to emo cover band eye line wearing keytar player). Anyway this bad boy is known for giving people strength and “othirity” (says so – carved in the back of it) so I’m serving notice to all these buggy bastards. However, one way I’ve learned NOT to serve notice is desperately spraying OFF brand bug repellent in the air only seems to make them angry and beat their lil moth wings even faster as they dive bomb your face. Don’t try that – unless it’s that new OFF skintastic scent or something, hope you guys at the office like that smell, it’s really growing on me and exudes the kind of confidence and professionalism any decent office demands . Also I would like it noted that as I typed this message I just forcibly removed a roach from Alison’s toothbrush case, no joke – I can’t even make this stuff up. I’m not sure why that is funny to me… it just is. Maybe just cause I will probably cry when I look what’s in mine.

Anyway about roaches, today brings a new story about the latest addition to our little family here, we have named it/he/she by the name of BAR, not as in I go the bar and drink Belikin Stout, which is good, but as in Big ASSSSS Roach! We found this giant fellow on the floor waving his cute lil antler? type apparati at us, as if saying I’m here to totally and completely freak you out with my giant palm sized body, but BAR didn’t know that I’m rolling with the serpents now SSSSSSSSSS SSSSSSSSSS SSSSSSSSSSSSSSS and I had to eject him as well. You know… show my orthirity!

BAR

BAR

Random Questions:

  1. Shelee – What is BAR’s scientific name?

  2. Chris – How much would I have to pay you to eat this… again we are talking 4 or 5 bites easily?

Also before I go, today we went to Tikal in Guatemala with the Mayan double shot tandem of Hugo and Hugo Jr. and this giant ass Bull almost rammed our flimsy tourist van. It was awesome. Tikal was cool and you might have had an interesting day but you don’t have a thing on me until you are dodging fist sized roaches and angry Guatemalan Brahma Bulls. Serpententor out!!! SSSSSSSSSSSSS

Bulls on Parade

Bulls on Parade