A few nights ago my friend Bryan Strauss drove up from some rinky dink military base he works on and joined Alison, Amy, Waylon, and I for dinner. First off, I’d like to point out that, like most of my friends, I have known Bryan since elementary school. What I would like to share about him is that Bryan was known for two things growing up.
1) Make him use his left foot. I grew up playing soccer and regardless of your specific thoughts about the sport, you will have to agree with me that in a sport where you spend 99% of your time kicking a ball, it would help if you could use both feet. Bryan refused; he always, I mean always used his right foot to the point where he would actually just be running in circles. It was quite comical. In between laughing and pointing, it almost always came down to one of the other team’s parents yelling “MAKE HIM USE HIS LEFT FOOT” which I assume would be like cutting a lock of Samson’s hair, taking all his power. However, all this did was make Bryan mad which meant more crazy right footed circles.
2) Zero percent angle shot. Often, especially after the other team’s parents were frantically yelling about Bryan’s left foot, and Bryan charged down the field, now this might surprise you, but he would end up in the right corner and the parents on our team would respond with a rival cheer. It wasn’t anything like use only your right foot, or a call for the other parents to be quiet, it was something much better… it was “DON”T SHOOT IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” Which is hilarious cause they were talking about a kid on their own kid’s team. Bryan would be doing his right footed circles at pretty much a zero percent angle, and somehow kick the ball while everyone yelled, shook their the head disapprovingly, and waved their arms making the international sign for “NO” but just like the left footed doubters, that would not stop Bryan. He would shoot and here is where I would like to point out that he never ever made the shot, but by some miracle he seemed to always score on his patented zero percent angle shot. It was really something.
Anyway just thought I would share a little something about Bryan, and also point out that his Dad once threatened to fight another soccer kids dad when he fouled Bryan. Much later in life Bryan admitted to me that he just laid there not hurt, but embarrassed that his dad was about to fight this guy. My money would have been on Mr. Strauss, he was huge and super fiery hot head… hmm, wonder where Bryan got that. No word on if Mr. Strauss could or could not use his left foot. My guess is no.
Here is a pic of me and Brya
n as he eats his 4 blackened shrimp for dinner.
