Aug 3
If you were expecting some nonesensical posting with no regard to punctuation or even a coherent thought process well that’s where you are right but as an added bonus I have included my thoughts below in traditional haiku format. Enjoy!
Hot stuffy cabin
Coughing people with large bags
Hint of bologna
Our magic robot
Solar pinchers of power
He’s not from our world!
Shameful stale muffin
Yes Austin java tricked me
Is there sand in this?
Usually when a friend/family member/trusted confidante leaves and you won’t see them for awhile, you might part ways on some kind words or sage advice about the intended location or just life in general. Today, my boss Russ really outdid himself by doodling the following piece of artwork on what originally appeared to be an old napkin or possibly a kleenex, taking a picture of it on his iPhone, then sending to our entire department with the following description “he will watch over you Jeff and make sure you and Alison never feel alone” which I’ve honestly been pretty scared about. Big sigh of relief.
My guess was Russ didn’t think there was any way I would post this, well that’s where he’s wrong, that’s in his face! So if any of you were worried about Alison and me taking a trip to scary canadaland, rest assured I’m taking the magic robot doodle to protect us. Notice the little squiggles by what look like miniature tank tracks indicating it’s super fast rapid movement, nothing can get away from the magic robot!!! It’s got some serious pinchers too, look out Canada – here we come!
Jul 31
I logged into this website for the first time in a year and saw that there was 263 comments! Thank you for all the wonderful gentleman’s enhancement pills and diet schemes! I’ve moved all those to where they belong… the trash. Now I can concentrate on packing. Here is what I’ve got so far:
Jul 27
This morning Alison hitched a ride on a turtle all the way to the much talked about Jaguar night club and I finally broke the curse of the manatee.
If I could figure out how to rotate this image it would be nice
curse is broken!
Jul 26
Dear o’ great and all powerful manatee god,
Yesterday I might have made some mistakes and offended you by suggesting I would ride on one of your own, or training you to leap to freedom over my head like the lovable whale in Free Willy, and quite honestly I had also written about putting you into a headlock, until you submitted and became my new pet but I thought that might be a tad over the line and deleted it. Well friends, it was all wrong… each and every bit of it and any offense I played upon these precious and lively manatees was avenged ten fold upon me with a massive manatee curse of epic proportions.
I started the morning by trying to cook what looked like waffle mix in a waffle maker, I believe now it was some sort of coffee cream… the staff workers here were not pleased. A bit later on the boat I went ahead and fell from the edge into the main cabin onto several people that cushioned my horrific looking fall. The seas were angry that day my friends, and ole Jefferson’s stomach along with the curse of the manatee required multiple vomits.. in the water… in snorkeling gear… with people swimming by. But o’ great mantee god you were meriful and allowed them to be secret pukes that no one noticed and I just wanted to say I really appreciated that.
In the end, I think we learned a lot about each other today, mainly I won’t ever make fun of you and in turn please call off this horrible curse you placed upon my lowly human body. Ohh I also got sunburnt.
Thanks, your new servent
jeff
Dear o’ great and all powerful manatee god,
Yesterday I might have made some mistakes and offended wn